My heart is heavy today with the burdens that so many I hold close are enduring.
With the controversy and the dissension around adoption and whether it should be allowed to continue, it saddens me that individuals and entities can/do take it upon themselves to think they know what is best for millions around the world… children and families.
As an adoptee and adoptive parent, I feel that adoption is a beautiful, god-honoring, complex opportunity for those who have closely listened to the heart of God and are saying “Yes” to his request.
I also feel that for the child who has no other option than to stay in an institutional setting, age out to end up on the street or sold into child trafficking hell is not okay.
Yes, adoption should be the last resort for children.
Yes, it’s always best for children to stay in their birth country and/or with a birth relative when safe and provided for.
But that’s simply not the way this world always works.
There are unmet needs and there are people available to meet those needs in an ethical, godly way.
Why are many so quick to criticize or point a finger when things go wrong in adoption?
Why are many so quick to say “all adoption” rather than “sometimes adoption” or “rarely adoption”?
Why are so many quick to assume things when they have not entered the arena of adoption?
As I’ve watched, and prayed for burdens such as…
…I am infuriated and heartbroken over the comments and articles that are quick to lump every adoptive family/situation into a category of heartless, greedy, child snatching, proselytizing, unethical human beings, and because of that adoptive parents are inhumane and adoption should be shut down.
Unethical practices are not acceptable, but we must also see the ramifications of any solution that requires adoption to completely cease.
Our sense of “I” is profoundly influenced by how we belong to a “We.” ~ Dan Siegle
God did not intend for children or his people to be an isolated “I”. God intended his children and people to be a community of “We”.
Abandonment and isolation wrecks any human no matter their age, need, or place in this world.
Whether it’s a child that needs a safe and loving home or a family who is doing everything in their power to adopt in an ethical manner, there is harm in our words and choices to prove our personal point.
These burdens that I get to carry as I pray for my friends in their adoption journeys is one that draws my sense of “We” into an arena of belonging and in fact does profoundly influence my understanding of how “I” get to play a small role in praying and supporting others.
Being in a loving, supportive, encouraging community of “We” has drawn out a stronger understanding and sense of who “I” am in this world.
I hope to see a higher level of sensitivity as we champion the “cause” of adoption, but I also hope others will realize that humans are not “causes” and no matter which side of the fence we sit on, there must always be respect and gentleness for the human lives involved.
Don’t speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize and judge each other, then you are criticizing and judging God’s law. But your job is to obey the law, not to judge whether it applies to you. God alone, who gave the law, is the Judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor? ~ James 4:11-12
Could we more intently consider how what we are saying is “I”solating rather than “We”lcoming?
Could we more intently consider how our actions convey a “me” and “them”?
Could we more intently consider the fact that everyone thrives in a gentler, kinder world that embraces grace, forgiveness and mercy?
Could we more intently consider_________ because/so_________?
I’m interested in hearing other’s voices. How would you complete the above question?
This life is not about only loving those who love Jesus, but simply loving like Jesus and be great influencers of “WE”!