Adoption~Redemption And Finding A True Forever Home

I think he was more nervous than I was. It had been 20 some years since we’d sat down face to face and had a conversation.

As my husband and I walked into the coffee shop his back was to us. The profile reminded me of him, but a much older version. How quickly I had forgotten that it had been that many years. As he turned around and saw us approaching, he extended his hand and said “Hi”. It was odd, but somehow I felt I needed to give him more than a handshake. I extended my right hand and wrapped my left hand around his arm and gave him an unexpected embrace. I could see the tears well up in his eyes.

We found a quiet corner and sat down with neither of us knowing what to expect. Yet, somehow I felt a peace. The reunion with the man who had so deeply hurt me as a child was now a reality. For so long I never expected to have to face him again, but the email he sent inquiring to meet was timely… not mine, but God’s.

Stories were exchanged catching up on 20 + years with each of us delicately navigating how intimate we would allow the conversation to become. As he fumbled on his words a bit, he paused and expressed that he was a bit nervous. I felt compassion for him and the place he was in and expressed that he was not the only one.

What time chronicled as 1 hour, felt much longer to me in my soul. Yet, I felt we had shared enough for now. It was a good first meet after so many years and I had given what I could in that time.

Days leading up to the reunion I had contemplated, prayed, and consulted with dear ones close to me. Why now? What is God up to? After all I have no desire to rekindle a father/daughter relationship with him. It is in the past. It is done, and even though it was one of the most painful things to happen in my life, I see God’s purpose and plan in it.

When we allow ourselves to be a conduit for God’s
redemptive plan, failure is not possible.

Adoption doesn’t always go as hoped. Parents and children don’t always bond as one desires. This is the potential reality of bringing complete strangers{especially with older children}together as a family. This circumstance coupled with trauma, loss, and grieving and the expectation of things to be as if the child was birthed out of the couple’s loins can bring us to a place where we lose hope.

As I travel the road of being an adoptive parent myself, I understand too well the amount of perseverance and exhaustive work it takes to make this unique relationship work. I’ve had many days where I wanted to give up. Not because I didn’t believe in the child, but because I didn’t believe in me.

It was so humbling to realize that I shouldn’t believe in me, but that I needed to believe in the power of the One who’s strong when I am weak.

We are the conduit of the redemption of pain and grieving for our children. We are the ones who must show our children the way to healing. If we can’t offer that to them, then what hope do we really, truly know ourselves?

The words I heard from my Empowered To Connect training… “you can’t help a child in their healing journey if you don’t know how to get there yourself” have been a constant reminder that I am on my own healing journey in order to help lead my children on theirs. Without it, I could not help them find their way.

God’s story in the lives of adoptive families is not about giving a child a physical home, but a Spiritual home.

A physical home can mean many things, even an institutional orphanage, and we know that is not where a child will thrive. Yes, every child deserves a home, but will we settle for giving them less than what God gives us?

A Spiritual home gives a child a Forever home in the truest sense with God as their Abba Father. A Spiritual home is more loving, grace-filled, forgiving and lasts forever. A Spiritual home has a leader who is not me. A Spiritual home provides Hope.

My own physical home was broken apart but since coming to know Christ I have found a true Forever home and God has redeemed my adoption story. He wants to redeems yours too.

Do you think that a physical home is enough?
Have you allowed God to use your own story to bring redemption in your
life or someone else’s?